Losing values?

Today we look back on the journey we have made beginning some four and fifty years ago, remarkable milestones we have covered along the way, and astounding successes we have achieved together as a country.

We have achieved some stupendous heights indeed. From a reclusive medieval society that we were just a few decades ago, we are today a forward-looking nation powered by magical wonders of technological innovations.

Along the way, however, we have also lost some of our traditional values that helped build our communities into strong societal components. Change is inevitable. But giving in to change however they come is giving our society a different kind of shape and texture altogether. Maybe in some other language this could be called development.

One of the most basic elements of a healthy society – marriage – has taken a sad turn today what with increasing access to world beyond and our own growing affluence. Marriage used to be more than just bond-building covenant between two people. Families required more hands in the fields on which prosperity depended so much. It also ensured integrity of extended family system and kinship ties.  Marriage thus made a more enduring society.

Today, however, our society is facing a serious challenge, a challenge brought about by modern development, and our society is becoming increasingly less stable the signs of which can be discerned from increasing frustration among young people. This frustration has its source in modern marriage that is built on loose grounds.

So we have myriad problems today that we are trying desperately to address as if all the problems have their separate causes. Suicide cases are on the rise and young people are finding themselves at difficult crossroads, urging them to resort to drugs and alcohol. Habits such as these only prove to be detrimental in the end.

Things begin to fall apart when homes come crumbling down.

A study done by National Statics Bureau has found that modern idea of love and relationship are the factors that contribute to unstable marriage that later give rise to unhealthy societal problems. With development reaching the farthest corner of our society, impact is only growing bigger.

While father spends all day playing archery, mother forgets to return home gambling away in the dingy dens somewhere in the dark part of the city. Parents forget their responsibility as they take new lovers and drift away chasing their immediate and often ephemeral dreams of living a good life.

Traditional values like Tha Damtsi and Ley Judre have flown out of the window. Much of the social malaise that we are facing today have their root in unstable marriage. How successfully we make our society stable will depend on our success at getting at the very root of the problem.

Development comes with cost. How skillfully we wade through changes will determine the strength and health of our society.

A house built on loose earth has only to fall.

1 reply
  1. irfan
    irfan says:

    A wedding and the marriage; both very similar and yet significantly different. Arranged marriages of the past as well as of the present time are probably a lot about a perfect wedding. But for today’s generation, a marriage just doesn’t happen with a successful wedding.

    If a well valued family is the foundation to a strong society; marriage, as a true gift to humans, is the only complete relation defined physically, mentally and spiritually. For a lot of us, a family starts with our grandparents or parents. But for a few, it starts with a marriage and that’s where it becomes an institution of its kind. But in today’s time, as we grow older leaving behind that younger age group, we are becoming more and more complete individualists. That’s when marriage as an institution either succeeds or fails miserably.

    It’s true that the values of a society are deteriorating. Still hope that we don’t assume that marriages are not meant for all. It’s not like that dream job that happens once a while. Reasons for getting married are different now, but reasons to the family values shouldn’t change. Love remains the genuine cause and effect of a truly successful marriage; but to define love between two individuals is still a mystery. Only the rules to definition of love are getting confusing all the time. When it comes to totality of a human relation, a marriage doesn’t have many alternates.

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