Women navigate life after rape and teenage pregnancy

Lhakpa Quendren

Trongsa—Tshering Yuden (name changed), a soft-spoken woman from a remote village in Trongsa, was thrust into motherhood at 20, completely unprepared and deeply traumatised. Now 23, she is raising two young sons, aged three and one. They live in a modest wooden hut, facing daily challenges shaped by her traumatic past.

A class nine dropout, she has endured a life of hardship as an orphan and survivor of sexual assault. At 19, she was raped by a 29-year-old married man. And a few months later, she discovered she was pregnant.

“That was when I broke down in tears, not knowing what to do,” she recalls, her voice heavy with emotion. “This memory continues to cause me distress.”

Left alone with her sister after the death of their parents, Tshering Yuden turned to her for help, who then alerted the village tshogpa. “The tshogpa, unable to help, suggested keeping the case quiet to avoid conflict between the perpetrator and his wife,” she says. “He was informed the next day, and soon his wife also became aware.”

Tshering’s village in Trongsa

On the mediation of the former Tshogpa, Tshering Yuden reluctantly agreed to accept a meager monthly child support (Sothue) payment of Nu 750 from the perpetrator, which barely covers the basic needs of her child. “It is not enough to even buy a shirt for my son,” she says.

The incident happened when the perpetrator visited their house with her sister’s ex-husband. “We were all sharing a room that night. I suspect he came with malicious intent,” she recalls.

Three years ago, Tshering Yuden married 33-year-old Sangay Dorji (name changed), although he had a history of three failed marriages.

As neither of them owns any land, they make their home in a modest wooden hut built on a relative’s 15-decimal plot. The couple support their family through labour work while also cultivating cardamom on a small plot that belongs to their grandmother.

Teenage marriage and struggles

In several remote locations, where people primarily depend on farming and livestock, young boys and girls drop out of school, which often leads to early marriages—many of which end in failure.

One such woman, Dorji Dema (name changed), married at just 15 and is now 38, a mother of five. Her education was cut short after first grade due to health issues.

She has been struggling with numerous challenges, including mental health issues since five months after the birth of her second child. “I am unable to access counseling services due to the long walking distance. I have to look after the cattle, which leaves us with no free time,” she says

Her 22-year-old son, the eldest, was expelled from a school in Trongsa at the age of 17 due to his marital relationship. “He was terminated just a week before the Class XII board exams. The school management denied our request for him to sit for the examinations,” says Dorji Dema.

Since then, her son left with his wife for Phuentsholing to work in a sawmill. “He didn’t listen to us. As a mother, this is painful,” she said, adding that she hasn’t had contact with her son for over a year.

Another son, who now works at a construction site, was unable to continue his education after struggling with his studies in the tenth grade.

In her early marriage, her husband impregnated a teenage girl who dropped out of school after the second grade. She is now 28 years old and cares for her four children, including the fatherless son and three from her recently deceased husband.

Tshering Yuden and her husband with their one-year-old son

In another incident, a teenage girl who married at 15 divorced three months later. The case was mediated at the local government level as both were teenagers. She is now 20, remarried, and has three children to care for, including two from her current husband.

A total of 1,097 teenage pregnancies were recorded between 2018 and 2020, including 473 involving girls under 18. The highest number of teenage pregnancies occurred in 2018, with 453 cases.

Divorce and violence

While teenage marriages and early pregnancies are major challenges in rural Bhutan, the issue of domestic violence often goes unreported. In isolated villages in Trongsa, violence within marriages is often accepted as a normal part of relationships, particularly when alcohol is involved.

“Many women suffer from alcohol-related violence, with some even being beaten by their husbands,” says a 25-year-old mother of one, who married in her late teens after completing her tenth grade in 2018.

Alcohol is widely accepted and consumed by men, women, and children. Despite studies showing that drinking alcohol during pregnancy can result in stunting and wasting in newborns, even teetotaler mothers are encouraged to consume homemade alcohol during the postpartum period to increase milk production and aid in recovery after delivery.

Trongsa’s RENEW focal person said that the cases reported involved emotional abuse and victims struggling to get child support. “Those requiring counselling are referred to the hospital, while the police division provides a shelter,” she added.

“Some victims even come seeking a divorce, which is beyond our responsibility. In such cases, we do not intervene but provide guidance on the procedure,” she added. “Some disabled people are also vulnerable to violence.”

There was also an incident where a teenage boy took his own life due to relationship issues. Family-related problems also led to a child suicide case last year, according to officials. “The issues usually come to light only after the incident occurs,” said an official.

The 2022 Bhutan Living Standard Survey shows an increase in divorce rates, particularly among women and people with low education levels. Divorce rates rose from 2.1 percent in 2017 to 3.4 percent in 2022, with 2,110 more divorces reported in 2022 compared to 2017.

This story is published under an EU-funded project managed by Save the Children Bhutan in partnership with the Bhutan Transparency Initiative and RENEW